Big Bulb Energy

For growers who plant big, roast bigger, and bring thunder to the farmers’ market.

What It Says About You

• You respect the clove, but you worship the bulb.
• Your raised beds are straight, your garlic breath is legendary.
• Vampires cross the street when they see you coming.

Why It Slaps

• Soft enough for post–garlic bread naps.
• Tough enough for tractor grease and market hustle.
• Instant conversation starter: “Big bulb, huh?” — “You bet.”

Performance Stats (totally real)

Usage: Apply to torso before mulching, scaping, or flexing in produce aisles. Repeat as needed.

Care: Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not feed to goats.

Put it on and let the world know you’re running on Big. Bulb. Energy.

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