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New Drop: Dick’s Stinkin’ Good Garlic Clothing (Yes, It Smells Like Victory)
Garlic isn’t just food—it’s a lifestyle. We finally bottled that vibe and slapped it on tees, hoodies, and hats built for field work, market days, and unapologetic clove worship. Introducing the Dick’s Stinkin’ Good Garlic clothing line.
What’s in the drop
- “Cloves Before Hoes” — Retro script + fist-bumping cloves. Equal parts wholesome and unhinged.
- “Big Bulb Energy” — For growers who plant big and roast bigger.
- “Powered by Allicin” — Energy-drink label vibes for garlic athletes.
- Logo Classics — The OG mark that started the stink.
Why you’ll love it
- Built for real life: soft, durable fabrics that survive tractor grease, market hustle, and a post-garlic-bread nap.
- Prints that pop: high-contrast designs (including a Kubota-orange option) that read from across the parking lot.
- Unisex fits: true to size; size up for “I just harvested 200 lbs and deserve comfort” mode.
Fan favorites (so far)
- Cloves Before Hoes Tee — For the gardener who knows priorities. Instant conversation starter.
- Big Bulb Energy Tee — All gas, no vampires.
- Powered by Allicin Tee — Fake Nutrition Panel on the back. Real swagger on the front.
- Dick’s Clove Cap — Shades your face, blocks the haters, hides “garlic hair.”
Behind the designs
We farm. We roast. We sell. These graphics came straight from muddy boots and market tents—Midwest-made for people who actually use a hoe (the garden kind). Every shirt is a wink to the lifestyle: raised beds, early mornings, and that sweet moment when the garlic hits the skillet.
How to style it (zero effort required)
- Market day: tee + cap + smug grin.
- Field day: hoodie over overalls; repeat until harvest.
- Date night: yes, garlic is romantic. Wear the nice one.
Care
Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not feed to goats. (They’ll eat the label. Ask us how we know.)
FAQs
Are these unisex?
Yep—true to size.
Do you ship?
Nationwide from the Midwest, fast—because garlic waits for no one.
Will it keep vampires away?
Legally we can’t say yes. Emotionally: yes.